Technoloy is for normal people
by sunshine everlasting
Summary: There's a reason only muggles and mortals use technology, and its not beacuse it attracts monters. some kane chronicles in here too.
1. Chapter 1

**Percy: Hey guys.**

**Annabeth: What's up?**

**Carter: I saved the world from a giant snake!**

**Sadie: With my help thank you very much**

**Harry: I saved the world from a snake-like thing**

**Hermione: with my help**

**Ron: and mine mate**

**Fred: you guys got me killed**

**George: Technically it was Percy's fault.**

**Percy: Hey! I don't even know you!**

**Bianca: you did get **_**me**_** killed**

**Percy: That was your idea**

**Bianca: Whatever you need to tell yourself.**

**Zoë: At least your father didn't kill you**

**Atlas: I said I was sorry.**

**Zoë: I'm not talking to you**

**Atlas: You just did so HA!**

**Ares: I sense fighting**

**Percy: Great you're here**

**Ares: Watch it punk!**

**Percy: No**

**Annabeth: Has it ever occurred to you that it might be a bad idea to tick off an impulsive war god?**

**Percy: No**

**Annabeth: Seaweed brain**

**Percy: Wise Girl**

**Thalia: Kelp Head**

**Piper: Pinecone Face**

**Leo: Beauty queen**

**Jason: Flame boy**

**Frank: Sparky**

**Arion: Baby man**

**Frank: ouch**

**Fred: hahahahahaha**

**Frank: shut up!**

**Nico: aren't you supposed to be dead or something**

**Fred: Gaea opened the doors of death genius. I'm FREE!**

**Lavender: that means I am too. **

**Ron: bloody wonderful**

**Lavender: When did you get here? **

**Ron: I've been here!**

**Ares: Fight! Fight! Fight!**

**Hermione: O.o**

**Fred: Ron you got yourself beat up by a girl!**

**George: You're embarrassing the family**

**Ron: she's a werewolf!**

**Lupin: Prejudice!**

**Ron: Sorry. But it's true**

**Nico: where's Thanatos when you need him?**

**Fred: That hurts mate**

**Voldemort: Guess who?**

**Percy: you know who**

**Voldemort: your funny I'll kill you last**

**Ares: Hey! If anyone's killing that kid it's going to be me!**

**Percy: I think I should leave now **

**Annabeth: great now he's going to go missing **_**Again**_

**Ginny: Harry went missing once**

**Annabeth: isn't it so annoying when they do that**

**Artemis: men**

**Thalia: tell me about it**

**Jason: What about me?**

**Thalia: your family I have to put up with you**

**Jason: you didn't put up with mom**

**Thalia: I don't speak of that**

**Luke: I'm family**

**Thalia: only because I don't go back on my promises unlike some people**

**Luke: I kept my promise! It saved Annabeth's life on Olympus**

**Annabeth: you where the reason I was in danger!**

**Luke: Didn't you push me off a cliff?**

**Thalia: you where invincible it's not like it hurt**

**Luke: you didn't know that till after you pushed me!**

**Thalia: details**

**Luke: you weren't there when I died either. Even Percy showed up and he hated me!**

**Thalia: I was under a Hera sized rock! And if I remember correctly Percy handed you the knife.**

**Carter: some family. **

**Hera: I said I was sorry!**

**Annabeth: I don't like you. And will you stop sending demonic cows after me!**

**Hephaestus: So much for a perfect family eh mom?**

**Hera: Don't make me chuck you off Olympus **_**again.**_

**Hephaestus: ouch**

**Fred: hahahaha**

**George: hahahaha**

**Carter: Wow**


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry: if Voldemort is gone why does my scar hurt?**

**Ron: I dunno mate**

**George: Hey won-won how are those scars Lavender gave you feeling?**

**Fred: when she's close to you do your scars hurt like Harry's?**

**Ron: Not funny**

**Voldemort: I think it's very funny**

**Harry: How are you even here?! All your horcruxes were destroyed!**

**Voldemort: not possible there has to be at least one**

**Harry: there all gone Tom**

**Voldemort: What happened to the diary?**

**Ginny: Basilisk fan**

**Voldemort: The ring?**

**Dumbledore: destroyed **

**Voldemort: The necklace?**

**Ron: taken out by yours truly**

**Voldemort: The cup?**

**Hermione: same fate as the diary**

**Voldemort: the Diadem?**

**Draco: Fire**

**Voldemort: WHAT?! WHERE?!**

**Draco: no you idiot Feindy Fire destroyed your precious tiara**

**Voldemort: ohhhh ok. How about Harry he was a Hourcrux**

**Harry: you killed me**

**Voldemort: YES! THE BOY WHO LIVED IS FINALLY DEAD!**

**Harry: then I came back to life**

**Voldemort: really? Crap. What about Nagini?**

**Neville: I beheaded it**

**Snape: after it killed me**

**Sirius: Quit whining Snivellus at least your insane cousin didn't kill you in front of your God-son**

**Zoë: you want to talk about insane relatives killing you? My father slammed me into a brick wall after I got bitten my pet dragon!**

**Atlas: Oh get over it! It was for your own good!**

**George: that's a little harsh.**

**Fred: I got slammed into a brick wall by my brother's boss**

**Zoë: don't walls hurt?!**

**Voldemort: Which brother?**

**Fred: Percy**

**Percy: I think I'd remember if I had a brother**

**Annabeth: honestly seaweed brain!**

**Percy: What?**

**Annabeth: you're not the only Percy in the world!**

**Percy: Says who?**

**Annabeth: says me!**

**Petunia: you are all a bunch of freaks!**

**Draco: Ahhhhh! Muggle!**

**Percy: Ahhhhh! Mortal!**

**Voldemort: Aveda Kedivra!**

**Sirius: you can't kill someone through a computer moldy wart!**

**Voldemort: shut up!**

**Gaea: funny I don't remember releasing all of you.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Harry: you know what just occurred to me?**

**Ginny: What?**

**Harry: if Lavender, Fred, Sirius, Dumbledore and Voldemort are back shouldn't my mum and dad be back to?**

**Hermione: They are back they just can't figure Muggle technology out.**

**Lavender: and Ron can?**

**Fred: that fact still amazes me.**

**George: oh please! Hermione helps him.**

**Fred: ohhhh that makes more sense, you really miss a lot when you're dead.**

**Tonks: Mr. and Mrs. Potter missed the invention of the internet.**

**Voldemort: That's one of the benefits of horcruxes you don't die so you don't miss anything**

**Ron: but you did die**

**Percy: Twice**

**Voldemort: and look I'm back**

**Gaea: because of me**

**Voldemort: are you my eighth horcrux?**

**Annabeth: for a monster with an elaborate plan to make yourself immortal you really are an idiot**

**Voldemort: I may lack a nose but I don't lack feelings!**

**Annabeth: oh get over yourself!**

**Voldemort: Aveda Kedavra**

**Percy: watch it buddy!**

**James: Ah Ha I have finally figured out this blasted Muggle technology!**

**Hermione: your welcome Mr. Potter **

**Lily: Thank you Hermione dear.**

**Harry: Mum! Dad!**

**Lily: Harry!**

**James: Prongs Jr.! **

**Voldemort: see! now this is sweet**

**Sirius: You're the one who killed them! **

**Percy: And you tried to kill my girlfriend!**

**Fred: I think we all established Moldy wart needs a nice padded room in St. Mungo's**

**George: maybe he can share a room with Lockhart**

**Ron: oh yeah I forgot about Lockhart**

**Fred: nearly broke mum's heart when she found out it was your wand that landed him there**

**Ginny: Well I was glad to find him driven to insanity after he tried to leave me to the Basilisk.**

**Annabeth: he tried to leave you to the mercy of a giant snake?! THAT _!**

**George: Language Annie!**

**Annabeth: Annie?**

**George: yep Annie**

**Annabeth: you are one of the strangest people I have ever met, and I have met a lot of strange people i.e. Hera**

**Hera: Don't you go there missy!**

**Percy: well, well, look who's ticking of the gods now**

**Annabeth: stay out of this Seaweed Brain! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Percy: has anybody seen Annabeth?**

**George: You lost Annie?!**

**Fred: NOOOO! **

**Hermione: when did you last see her?**

**Percy: yesterday when she got in a fight with the Queen of Olympus**

**Ron: The Olympics have a Queen?!**

**Percy: ummm…**

**Voldemort: Really Ron?**

**Ron: What?**

**Voldemort: I started the whole anti-Muggle conspiracy and even I know enough about Muggles to tell you THERE IS NO QUEEN OF THE OLYMPICS!**

**Ron: oh**

**Annabeth: Hi guys!**

**Fred: IT'S ANNIE!**

**George: YAY!**

**Percy: where the Hades are you?**

**Annabeth: Kansas**

**Percy: Kansas?**

**Annabeth: yep. Have you ever been?**

**Percy: no, I'm not really a big fan of landlocked states**

**Annabeth: well there are lots of cows here, which is probably why Hera sent me here of all places.**

**Percy: interesting**

**Annabeth: what's with the Queen of the Olympics?**

**Ron: That is a very, very, very, very, very long story.**

**Lavender: Ron's an idiot**

**Fred: that pretty much covers it**


	5. Chapter 5

**Percy: When is Annabeth coming back to New York?**

**Thalia: here train will be here in a few hours**

**Voldemort: HA! I now know you live in New York! I am one step closer to destroying you!**

**Percy: you don't know where in New York.**

**Voldemort: yet. But with Voldemort's five step plan to destroying someone I will have you within months!**

**Ron: why don't you just Google them?**

**Voldemort: I did! Percy, did you know you were featured on 'America's Most Wanted' when you were twelve.**

**Percy: it was kind of hard to miss**

**Voldemort: your own Step father testified against you.**

**Percy: because I wrecked his car. But I got in a gun fight with my captor was proven innocent and flew back to New York to deliver Zeus's master bolt and save the world from a war among the gods.**

**Voldemort: funny I didn't find the whole 'save the world thing' on Google**

**Percy: well I didn't find 'Voldemort's five step plan to destroying someone on Google**

**Voldemort: so you want to know about my plan?**

**Percy: uhh yeah**

**Voldemort: well**

**Step one- meet said person**

**Step Two-find country said person resides in**

**Step three- find area said person resides in**

**Step four- find neighborhood said person resides in**

**Step five-find specific address said person resides at**

**Step six-travel to area said person is in**

**Step seven-destroy said person**

**Percy: shouldn't it be 'Voldemort's seven steps to destroying someone'?**

**Voldemort: what sounds easier seven steps or five steps? It's all about marketing Percy buddy.**

**Percy: how about Percy's one step program to destroying your enemy?**

**Voldemort: oh yeah? And what's on this program of yours? Hmm?**

**Percy:**

**Step one- turn your enemy to dust with your magic sword.**

**Voldemort: ohhhh that is good.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Annabeth: Percy I've been reviewing 'Percy's one step program for destroying your enemy' and I have to say, it absolutely sucks**

**Voldemort: HA! That means your own girlfriend thinks I'm smarter than you!**

**Percy: You agreed my plan was better that makes you just as stupid as I am!**

**Voldemort: So you think I'm smart**

**Percy: no I think you're mentally off to put it nicely**

**Voldemort: do you think you're insane?**

**Percy: no**

**Voldemort: do you think you're stupid?**

**Percy: no**

**Voldemort: So if I'm just as stupid as you are and you think you're perfectly sane and a genius than you think I am perfectly sane and a genius**

**Percy: I do not think you're perfectly sane**

**Voldemort: look through this conversation slowly and carefully then take a minute to process this information through your thick skull**

**Percy: NO! YOU LOOK THROUGH THIS CONVERSATION CAREFULLY AND RELIZE I DID NOT SAY WE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF SAINTY!**

**Voldemort: thank God. Could you image if I had the same anger management problems?**

**Percy: YOU STARTED TWO WIZARD WARS AND MURDER COUNTLESS INNOCENT PEOPLE!**

**Annabeth: I've been watching your strange and senseless argument and noticed that Voldemort called Percy 'thick skulled'**

**Percy: So?**

**Annabeth: So if he says that the two of you have the same level of intelligence than he is also calling himself 'thick skulled'**

**Voldemort: Stay out of it Annie!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Fred: Has anyone noticed that there is an evil little girl posting our conversations all over the internet?**

**EvilLittleGirl: I'm posting them on one website not all over the internet, besides people love you!**

**Lavender: they love Ron too?**

**EvilLittleGirl: yes, Ron too.**

**Ron: you do know you used to love me too right?**

**Lavender: Please, I bet you gave me a love potion**

**George: We did have a lot of love potions at the time I bet Ron nicked one**

**Lavender: did you give one to Hermione too?**

**Ron: NO!**

**Hermione: you gave me a love potion?!**

**Silena: You wizards have been disrespecting my mother's realm!**

**Percy: Silena!**

**Clarisse: You're back!**

**Silena: I come back from the dead just to find some idiot wizards disrespecting my mother's realm**

**Zeus: This is why we tell you technology attracts monsters, first you're arguing with people you never met second you have some creeper trying to track you down and on top of that you have a girl posting this crap all over the internet!**

**EvilLittleGirl: ONE WEBSITE!**

**Annabeth: has anyone ever noticed our lives are like a bad soap opera?**

**EvilLittleGirl: Actually according to the reviews 'this crap' has been getting, your lives are a pretty funny soap opera**

**Fred: I say we stop using the internet**

**George: yeah! **

**EvilLittleGirl: You can't stay off forever! Muhahahaha**


	8. Chapter 8

**Carter: Has anyone ever wondered what would happen if someone gave Apophis a hug?**

**Zia: He probably would have eaten you.**

**Sadie: Carter where do you come up with these things? Hmmm what color should I change my highlights to?**

**Percy: BLUE!**

**Jason: I agree with Percy, blue is a nice color**

**Reyna: purple means royalty in Rome**

**Carter: don't give her any ideas!**

**Ron: red and gold are very nice colors**

**Draco: green and silver are better**

**Cedric: how about black and yellow**

**Hazel: bumblebee colors?**

**Frank: isn't there a song called black and yellow?**

**Cedric: There very nice colors!**

**Sadie: No bumblebee colors, I've already done the color blue, I'm not doing silver, maybe purple, maybe green.**

**Zia: Jade is very important in Egypt, do a Jade green**

**Sadie: I like the Jade thing, I'll do green**

**Draco: I WIN! SUCK IT BUMBLEBEE BOY!**

**Cedric: IT'S NOT BUMBLEBEE COLORS!**

**EvilLittleGirl: HAHAHAHAHA I knew you'd be back**

**Fred: GAH! It's her again**

**George: how'd she find us?!**

**Voldemort: she scares me**


End file.
